The one where the Bald Eagle gets real

Let’s get real for a moment. Male suicide (or any suicide for that matter) sucks. Let’s get even realer. Anybody that feels that they need to end their life because of the demons in their head; well that’s just heartbreaking.

Let me be clear. I am not suicidal. I have never been suicidal. But I do know what it feels like to be trapped in a battle in your own head. How easy it is to hide it. And how low it can truly make you feel.

I’d like to think that some of you come here for a laugh as well as an insight into my life with OCD. But alas, on this occasion I don’t think there’s enough wit in the world to find any brightness in this.

I’m really not sure where I’m going with this week’s post, but I’m sure more of us than we’d care to admit, have been directly affected by suicide.

And that’s not right.

It’s been great to see people raising awareness about suicide in recent years. It’s one of the minimal benefits of social media, which in my eye is the root of all evil. F***ing ironic that I therefore use Instagram to voice my stories, but hey ho that’s the way the cookie crumbles (what a film Bruce Almighty is by the way).

I’ve tried to think long and hard why suicide shocks me to my very core. And I think I’m nearing an answer. For me, it’s the ability to resonate with that person’s pain. That person was most definitely loved by someone. Their friends. Their family. And yet. They felt like they could no longer go on.

I’m lucky. I can quite often decipher what is an intrusive thought and what is genuinely my own. The dangerous thing however, is when the two blur and the thought becomes hazy and somewhat tainted.

I believe this to be the crossroad. The point of no return. It’s so easy to get lost in the intrusion. To allow it to make you feel so worthless. So it makes sense to me why I feel an affinity with those that feel they can no longer go on.

The semicolon is often used to continue a sentence and not end it. In this instance, the semicolon connotes your choice, as the author of your life, to continue with the sentence and continue to live on.

It’s hard fighting a constant battle that others cannot see. It’s tiring. Again, I’m lucky enough to have a support network around me who ensure I’m always okay.

I won’t pretend that I’m influential in any way, shape or form. But if you leave here with one thing and one thing only, then remember this, if you’re struggling. Reach out to someone. And if you’re reading this and thinking someone you know might be struggling, then do the same. Reach out to them.

In any war, there are calms between storms. I can’t pretend to take credit for that. That’s the words of the reverend, mighty Optimus Prime.

Check in on your mates. It’s important.

Bald Eagle ft Optimus Prime