The Hills Have Sex Toys
I’ve been on annual leave this week, doing the only thing that can be done when everything is locked down. Walking.
It’s been nice to detox and take a screen sabbatical. We’ve covered quite some miles, all in the name of exercise. But it seems the fun doesn’t stop there for some people.
Living only a short drive from the countryside, we decided a mid week walk upon the hills surrounding a local reservoir, sounded like quite a nice idea.
And it didn’t disappoint. The weather was average (it is Manchester after all…). The views were sublime and the uneven ground ensured that a 10km hike, felt like I’d just had a knee op and a new hip by the time we were done…the fast train to thirty is fast approaching.
All in all, it was a great day out but it seems someone had better.
Atop the hills, we found something not in its natural habitat. A twelve inch, neon blue dildo, complete with veins and a ‘lifesize’ scrotum. Just sat there. Nestled in a crevice of water between two rocks overlooking a valley steeped in greenery.
Now I’ve no idea, how a plastic “love length” finds its way atop the fierce moor, but I can only imagine an avid dog walker thought to partake in a bit of afternoon delight. Either that or we’d just stumbled across the hottest, most dangerous dogging spot in Greater Manchester. People are weird. But who am I to judge?
I’m well versed in finding things to busy my mind. Walks. Reading. Taking a bath. Watching a film or my favourite series. All these things and more help me to distract myself from the raging intrusive thoughts burning inside my head. But one works more than most…exercise.
It’s almost certainly the endorphins and don’t get me wrong, they definitely help. But for me, I think it’s the notion of truly being able to throw yourself into something that is intensive on both your body and mind.
I’m constantly on the go. I always have energy and often struggle to just sit still. I clocked on quite some time ago that this is because I’m using every ounce of my being, to not focus on the negative intrusions that Orlando — my OCD — concocts inside my head.
Exercise truly helps to tame that internal battle raging on inside my head. Running is probably the best example I can use to highlight how exercising can soothe my mind. There’s nothing you can’t outrun. I should rephrase, as obviously you can’t outrun a broken knee, that’s physically impossible. But I’ve found I can outrun my OCD. Or at least subdue it long enough until it’s a distant memory in the rear view mirror of my brain.
How do you truly ignore something that is always there? Something that overshadows you every day; even holds you back from the simplest of tasks and decisions? The answer is there’s no one way of doing this.
If something is always there, all knowing and all seeing, then there’s no one thing that can be done to turn the volume down. My list of distractions is never ending. And this oversimplification of the coping mechanism mindfulness, does help to keep the intrusions at bay.
Like a beach ball that’s being kept under the water, the negative thoughts will inevitably pop up again. But much like thrusting that ball back under the water, I’ll pick another activity off my list and throw myself into that. I’ll outrun them one day.
And if you’ve lost a blue, life size sex toy with added veins…check the top of Dovestone reservoir. Animals.
Bald Eagle
